As many of you know, I LOVE being a mommy!! I shared a post earlier about 8 things becoming a mommy has taught me (you can read it here). I have grown so much as a mom and I definitely feel more confident in my “mommy-ness”. Here are 8 more things that I’ve learned recently that I wanted to share.
1) I can’t be “supermom” all the time… and that’s okay. Yep…some days I’m able to get everything on my “to-do” list done, caught up on the laundry, chores, cooking, and errands completed. But most days I have to pick and choose what things will get done that day. I’m the type of person that likes to have all my ducks in a row, and be organized to the max… but with a new little person around it’s a little harder to do. I’ve accepted that no matter how much I want to be “supermom”… it’s okay if I’m not. It’s okay if the dishes in the sink don’t get put into the dishwasher or the laundry loads are not done… what matters most is that I’m doing my best and being/giving my best to my daughter, my husband and to myself. Now don’t get me wrong… I don’t leave my house a mess…but I don’t stress about getting stuff done like I used to. Thankfully, as I mentioned before, I’m able to get help from friends and family that allow me to get caught up on life and housework. And of course I have to say Henry is a HUGE help around the house! I haven’t had to mop floors or clean the bathrooms in 9 years!! Praise Him!! LOL
2) It’s not that serious!!! Things that used to bother me don’t bother me anymore. When I think about things that used to upset me in the past I laugh because I realize now they were so little compared to the bigger picture. I have also stopped worrying so much about what other people think about me. I don’t need to impress anyone or prove to anyone that I’m good enough. And now that I’m a mommy, my focus is on being the best wife and mommy I can be for my husband and baby. Things I used to worry about are not that important anymore. Whether or not someone likes me or even talks about me is not my concern. My concern is with the well-being of my family, my baby and myself. I can’t focus on what others think about me because at the end of the day what God thinks about me is what matters. He created me and it is in Him that I find my value and worth. I don’t need to rely on others to validate me. My hope is that my Rissy and other children will come to understand this fully at an early age so they will not be influenced by what others say and think about them.
3) It’s okay to cry sometimes. Crying is very therapeutic at times. I can cry for many reasons. When I sometimes get frustrated and have a good cry, somehow everything feels MUCH better. I’ve even found myself crying over things I didn’t cry about before… I guess becoming a mommy has done that to me!! Lately when I do cry, I find myself crying tears of joy. I look at my life, the many blessing that I have and cannot help but cry. I am so thankful to the Lord for all that He’s done for me and for the MANY blessings He’s bestowed upon me over my life. When I look at my little Rissy, my heart swells with joy, I cry… When I see how sweet Henry is with her, I cry… When I think of how blessed and loved she is and was long before she was born, I cry. I have a sensitive heart and find myself easily moved to tears when I think about how faithful God has been to me and my family. I am truly blessed with things that money cannot buy.
4) I can do it! Sometimes I look at my situation and think to myself “how did I make it through the day, the months and now the almost two years that I’ve been a mommy?” My days are a little longer and my sleep is a little shorter now… but I can say that I’m so proud of myself and how I have been able to do this mommy thing. Ultimately I am able to do this because I am doing it through Christ who strengthens me. I have a more literal understanding of Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”I can now speak to it in a different way. Some days I find myself saying to Henry that I can’t believe we are parents and that I’m a mommy! Sometimes I’m still processing this concept!! But I’m so happy to be in this place and wouldn’t change it for anything!!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
5) I’m not alone. I have to give a HUGE shout out to single mommies!! You guys are AMAZING!!! The fact that you are raising another little (or big) human by yourself is amazing! When I see how hard it can be to do this mommy thing with help from Henry, I can’t imagine how much harder it would be to do it alone. I’m thankful to have Henry helping, but for those of you who are doing this by yourself I look up to you! You are some of the strongest women I know. I can only hope to be as strong as you. Henry and I both came from single parent homes, and until I became a parent myself, didn’t understand how much it takes from a person to be a parent… especially a good one. They worked so hard to make our lives as safe and stable as possible and for that I am greatly appreciative. I now have a greater appreciation for my mom who took care of my all by herself and for Henry’s mom who raised an amazing, strong man like Henry. She raised 4 kids by herself and they have all turned out wonderful. To all the single mommies out there… Keep doing the amazing job you are doing for your children. And know that this new mommy looks up to you! You are stronger than you know!!
6) Once a mommy always a mommy. This one hit home for me today. I realize that once you become a mommy, it’s really hard to get out of the “mommy mode”. For instance, I was supposed to be working on my blog for a couple of hours and Henry was going to tend to Rissy. Tell me why I found myself going into her room with them AT LEAST 3 or 4 times!! One time it was to take her some milk and the other three times were just to kiss her and tell her that I loved her. I can’t seem to disconnect from feeling like I need to do things for her. Growing up, I used to always wonder why my mom would be emotional during various events in my life, I now realize it’s because I’ll always be her “little girl”. Just like I carried Arissa and created a very special bond with her, my mom did the same with me. So now I better understand why she was the way she was at times. (sorry mom!!) She will always be my “mommy”… the relationship is just a little different now. I’m sure I’m going to be JUST like that with Rissy and my other daughter (who isn’t here yet) when they grow up. After all…. I am JUST LIKE MY MOM!!!!
7) My baby is my teacher. Doing this mommy thing has taught me that there is a lot I didn’t know. But thankfully I have a special “teacher” who is helping me to learn the ropes. Rissy has taught me so much these past 18 months. I’ve not only had to learn this mommy thing, but I’ve also had to learn her ways and what she is trying to tell us without words. She is at the stage now where she is “talking” so much, but it’s mostly baby talk… so I have to try to figure out what she needs and wants. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I have to keep trying to figure it out. I feel so accomplished when I’m able to decipher what she needs and get it to her quickly before she starts crying louder!! LOL!! On a serious note, it’s been a joy learning her and seeing her little personality coming out. She’s amazing and teaches me something new every day.
8) I am my daughter’s first teacher. My Rissy is watching EVERYTHING I do and listening to EVERYTHING I say. Sometimes I’ll say something and the next thing I know… she’s copying me!! Some days she will say something and I’ll be shocked like “Where did that come from???” One time she said “lay down” when I went to change her. She’s heard me say it over and over. One time she pointed upwards and said “up”. I almost fainted!! Now she tells me to “sit down” so we can have tea and her new thing is telling Elmo to “take that out of your mouth!” LOL!! It’s amazing how much these little ones soak up… especially at such a young age! Because she is watching everything I do and listening to everything I say, I have found myself becoming more mindful of what I say and how I react to certain things. I especially try to be aware and careful what I say and how I say things to Henry. She’s watching and listening and I want to make sure she sees a healthy and loving relationship between the two of us. She knows more than we think and I want to make sure that we set an excellent example for her.
Even though I’ve shared many things that I’ve learned since becoming a mommy, I KNOW that there will be many more to come. Being a mommy is a lifetime learning experience that I am so happy and grateful to have.
To all my mommy readers… What are some things that you’ve learned since becoming a mommy? I would love to hear them!! Please share in the comment section below.
And to all my future mommy readers… What are some things you are looking forward to when you become a mommy? I would love to hear them as well.