Have you ever felt like you don’t really fit in? Or like you’re trying to find your place and where you belong? Have you ever found yourself asking the following questions: Why am I here? Why am I the way I am? Why do I do the things I do? Why can’t I be like everyone else? Why? Why? Why? If so, you are not alone. I have felt like that many times, and at times I still do. It’s normal to ask “why?”.
Lately I’ve thought a lot about who I am and where I am going. Most days, these thoughts make me VERY excited. But I’ll be honest, some days scare me. You may be wondering why… well let me tell you…
As I’m getting older, I’ve learned that life is so much more than just being, working and getting through each day. It’s more than having a great job, a nice car and a huge house, tons of money in the bank, the ability to buy and do whatever you want, when you want to, etc. Don’t get me wrong, those things are nice, but at the end of the day, that’s not what matters. We have been put here on earth for something much greater than ourselves. I’ve always felt and known this, but as I’m getting older, I am beginning to understand this a little more. We are all here for a purpose… For such a time as this. My biggest fear is that I do not accomplish and do all that the Lord has put me on the earth to do.
One of my favorite Bible stories is the one of Esther. She was a young Jewish girl who God used to save her people. The King at that time was looking for a new queen for his kingdom. He had many young woman from his country brought to his palace so he could choose a new queen. When Esther was picked out of her city to compete for the position of Queen, she was being herself and doing what she normally would do. While competing for the title of Queen, something about Esther stood out to the King. She was DIFFERENT. The king picked her to be his new queen and though a series of events, she was used by God to save her people from death. (You can read the full story in the book of Esther in the Bible. You can also find the story here.)
Esther’s older cousin, Mordecai, played a very important role in her story. When speaking to her about what she could do to help prevent the inevitable death of her people he said the following:
“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
I truly believe that Esther was called and placed in the position of queen specifically for that time and place to save her people. She had to be different because it was connected to the call that God had for her life. I truly believe that she was different all her life, and perhaps didn’t always fit in. But in the end that helped prepare her for the ultimate plan God had for her. It was her “differentness” that caused her to stand out and be chosen as queen.
My heart’s desire is that I discover and walk in that which God has put me on this earth… for such a time as this. I’ll admit it though… Sometimes this walk can be so hard. Growing up I was always different, I couldn’t always do what everyone else was doing. It was hard, I felt like I was missing out and at times I felt left out. But now that I’m older and wiser, I see that all of that was helping me to get to where I am now. Like Queen Esther, I was called to be different, to stand out. Even now as I’m typing this, tears are coming to my eyes. Tears of joy and relief knowing that everything I’ve gone through has shaped and formed me for the here, now, and for what is to come. I’m so excited that I am able to share my story, my journey, my struggles and more. I can’t wait to see what the Lord is going to do. I know in my heart, this is what I’m supposed to be doing RIGHT NOW.
If you’ve felt different/left out/misunderstood/etc. in the past or are feeling this way now, be encouraged! What makes you different could be the very thing that launches you into the position to fulfill your God-given call! Don’t let your “differentness” discourage you. Be sensitive and obedient to His voice and leading. Don’t be afraid do that which you feel He is leading you to do. Trust Him! Most times, that which we are afraid of is the very thing that God is calling us to do… Trust Him and trust that His plans for you are for good. And know that He has created you and put you on this earth… for such a time as this…