8 Ways To Be A Better Friend

I’ve had the opportunity to build amazing friendships with people through the years. I tend to have specific types of friends. The ones that I talk to almost every day. The ones I’ve known all my life and keep up with on social media. The ones I see and talk to every once in awhile, but every time I do see them, we pick up right where we left off. It’s good to have a variety of friendships in life. I’ve also noticed that as things change, relationships and friendships do to. And that’s okay.  Over the years, I’ve grown in my friendships and have learned how to be a better friend. Here is a list of ways that I have learned to be a better friend.

1. Be genuine. This is very important for any friendship. Before you enter into a friendship with someone, you need to make sure that your intentions are genuine and that is a relationship you are willing to invest in. If you’re only trying to be friends with someone for other reasons other than a true friendship, chances are that person will find out and ultimately drop the friendship or keep you at a comfortable distance.

Be genuine. This is very important for any friendship :).
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2. When you give a compliment… Don’t take it back. When you compliment someone, leave the compliment there. Seriously!!! When you take a compliment back, it conveys a message of insecurity and could even be interpreted as jealousy. It also makes the situation VERY awkward… This has happened to me more than once and it made the situation very awkward. I said “thank you” left the conversation trying to figure out what that person was really trying to do. To be quite honest, it was very uncomfortable. I never want anyone to feel uncomfortable after having an interaction with me.  If you’re going to take a compliment back, it’s best to just leave it unsaid. Don’t give out compliments unless you mean them.

3. “One-upping” is played out. This one ties into the previous topic. No one likes to have a conversation with someone who always has to “one-up” them or prove that they are better than them. Let people say what they need to say and let them have their moment to shine. Again, this type of behavior can cause people to think you are jealous and that you feel the need to compete with them.  That is the fastest way to end a conversation with me. I’m not into competing with others and I don’t have time to waste on conversations like this.

4. Be nice. I’m a person who really preaches kindness. One of my pet peeves is rude people. I try my hardest to not be a rude person. It costs nothing to be nice and kind. When people interact with me, I want them to walk away from the conversation feeling respected and treated as a friend. One of the biggest turn offs for me when I’m interacting with someone is rudeness. I’ve experienced what it’s like to be treated rudely, as if the other person thinks they are better than me and I remember how it made me feel. I never want it to be said of me that I’m rude, pretentious, etc. I never want to leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth.

5. Don’t be THAT girl. What girl am I referring to?? The mean girl!! You would think that as adults, women would not act like mean girls, but unfortunately that’s not always the case. I’ve had situations where people have talked about me and have said things that were not true. The crazy thing is it always comes back to me eventually and I know who has said what about me. Even then, I have not used it as an excuse to be a mean girl back.  I might not be besties or even close friends with someone who has talked about me, but I’m not going to have an attitude and be a mean girl back to them. That’s not how I operate.  Now I definitely do not have extensive conversations with those individuals, and don’t go out of my way to have a friendship with them, but I do make sure that I am not rude or mean to them.

6. Be gracious and understanding. This one is a biggie for me. A lot of times people get upset about something and only want to see it from their side. It’s important to be understanding. If your friend has done something that upset you, try to find out the “why” behind what they did. Instead of just looking at the “what” and reacting from there.  It’s wiser to try to understand where someone is coming from and why they said what they said or did what they did. Also, be mindful of how you do approach someone regarding a situation like this. The approach can make a HUGE difference when it comes to whether or not a situation goes well or horribly wrong. And when the person does share the “why”, take some time to understand their situation and how they might  be feeling about the whole situation. Many times when you take the time to do these things, you will find that there are many deeper issues at play. Any relationship requires understanding… of each other… of things that happen… if you don’t have that, you don’t really have a true friendship/relationship.

7. Let it happen naturally. This one is also a biggie for me. I’m not into forced friendships. If it happens, it happens. If not, then I’m fine with “hi and bye.” One of my pet peeves is when people try to intimidate people into being their friend. Or they’ll say… “If you’re my friend you would do this…. Or “If you’re my friend you wouldn’t do that…”  Don’t do it!! It’s not cute and is a major turn off. When people are always trying to make others feel guilty for what they did or did not do, that can be a form of control. Don’t try to intimidate anyone into being your friend. If someone genuinely wants to be your friend, they will be.  I’ve had to distance myself from people who have been like this with me… and you know what… that’s okay. I’ve learned that I don’t have to be friends with everyone.

8. Let it go!!Don’t hold grudges!! If you have a problem talk it out! Of course make sure the timing of this conversation is right. And it’s wise to make sure that everyone has had time to calm down from the situation so that when you do talk it out, it will be a productive conversation and won’t end up being another argument. With this in mind… it’s okay to give yourself a little break and time to be ready for this type of conversation. But try not to wait too long because things can fester and get worse.

I am not an expert in relationships but I do know that they are very important and that there are ways to make them better. No relationship is perfect and there is always room for improvement.

One of the things I need to work on is returning phone calls! I’m horrible at doing that but that’s one of the things one of my friends told me I needed to work on. So that’s what I’m going to do. I love to see women have fruitful and genuine relationships. We all need great friends and I am sooooo grateful that I have been blessed with an AMAZING group of friends… Old and new ones!!

Gr8fully Yours!