8 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self Today

As I celebrate my birthday today, I find myself reflecting on my younger years. Yes, I know that I’m not OLD,  but I definitely start feeling old when people that I used to babysit are now married and have kids of their own. Or when teachers who are just starting their careers could’ve been my students not too long ago themselves. So yes, when I look at those things I definitely start to feel old.

I came across an old school picture of myself from MS or HS and I cringed… for like a second! LOL!! But for real to see that young lady who had no idea where life would take her was a little nostalgic for me. I wish I could go back and protect her from some of the hurtful experiences that she has gone through or was going to go through. But I realize that all of that has helped to form her into the woman that she is today… A Gr8ful Woman.

All this feeling old business has me thinking about how much I’ve grown as a woman, teacher, wife and mom. Sometimes I look back at my younger years and shake my head. Sometimes I’m shaking my head at the things I did, or didn’t do, and even at the things that I allowed to affect me for so long. Of course I didn’t always know what I didn’t know. But now that I’m older, I have some words of advice for my younger self.

Here are 8 things that I would tell my younger self today…  

GIRLLLLL stop worrying so much about what other people think!!!

Growing up I was a people pleaser and I worried too much about what other people thought about me. I allowed this to cause me to miss out on opportunities to grow and it affected my relationships greatly.  It took me awhile to get to the place that I am now, where perhaps I might not care enough what people think of me! Yikes! I realize now that the only person I need to worry about pleasing is Jesus. Because at the end of the day, that’s what matters most. I wish I had been more confident in who I am in Christ when I was younger. But that’s all part of growing and “becoming”. I am so grateful for the growth that I have experienced, and for those who God has used to help me grow into the woman I am today.  

Be patient

This one is a good one for all young people. And it’s even a good one for me now. As a young lady, I remember seeing most of my friends in relationships, getting married and having kids and wondering if and when it would happen for me. I think I became so concerned with ‘when is it going to be my turn?” that I didn’t fully enjoy and embrace the season that I was in at those times. I would definitely tell myself to be patient and enjoy the season I am in right now. When you do get married and find that one, things will NEVER be the same again. So enjoy the time you have and make the most of where you are RIGHT NOW!!

RELAX!!

This one is pretty self explanatory but I wish I had a better understanding of being still and resting. I’m not referring to sleeping, but to slowing down in general. 

I wish I had taken more time to really relax and enjoy all the extra free time that I had instead of trying to fill it up with this and that. Now that I’m a mom, I wish I had more time to relax… to not do anything at all and to enjoy the quietness of being still. I would also tell myself not to be so uptight! Not to be so easily offended and to just chill! Which brings me to my next point…

Don’t read too much into things

Because I was a people pleaser and worried too much about what other people thought, I used to read into things way too much! I mean if Sally looked at me some kind of way, I would analyze the possible reasons why over and over in my head. I mean the amount of worrying that I did (and sometimes still do) is ridiculous! The funny thing is Sally probably wasn’t even thinking about me and here I am seriously stressing over the way she looked at me! Sheesh! I was a mess! But thankfully I’m getting better at this. I had a convo not too long ago with a friend about this very thing and was reminded that I have to make a conscience effort and decision not to read too much into things…. And to remember that not everything is about me!!

Don’t be afraid to make your own decisions

This one is a biggie for me! I used to be (and am still at times) one of the most indecisive person/people I know! I found myself questioning my decisions to the point where I felt like I needed another opinion ALL THE TIME in order to make the right decision. The two major life decisions that I was sure of are as follows:  the one to go into education and the one to marry Henry. Side note: both decisions were questioned by influential people in my life, however, I am so grateful that I obeyed God and HIS decisions for my life. 

Pain is part of the process

When I was pregnant with Rissy, I remember crying to a friend and telling them that I was so scared for her to be hurt in life. That I wanted to protect her from getting hurt and knowing that I will not be able to always protect her from getting hurt was a hard pill for me to swallow. That person gently reminded me that pain is part of life, and part of what makes us grow. That I can be there for her when hurt comes, and that I can pray for her and be a support when needed. Now don’t get me wrong, if I could I would protect her from every potential hurt and pain that could come her way, but I know that I can’t do that. But I can help give her the tools and strategies to deal with hurt, pain and disappointment in a healthy way. I have to say that my mom was able to do that for me. Whenever we had disagreements and I was hurt by something that she did, she would always make time to talk it out. And she would apologize when needed. She was a great example of how a mother can protect but also prepare her child for the disappointments that are inevitable in this thing called life. For that I am so gr8ful and try to model that behavior with Rissy even now. I would tell my younger self that there are friends that will always be a part of your life whether in a big way or small, but those friends will be the ones that can hurt you the most. I definitely learned that in my younger years. Thankfully things were worked out and the relationships are fine now. But yes, even your friends will hurt you. But true friendships are the ones where you will experience hurt, but when you work through they can be the strongest friendships you’ll have.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself… or others

While I mentioned above that pain is part of the process, there are also times where you shouldn’t be afraid to stand up for yourself either. This is something that I was not very good about when I was younger… well not consistently… Once I moved up to Maryland and I learned that not everyone is as nice as they are in Oklahoma, I had to get some thick skin. I’ve learned to speak up when necessary… whether it’s for myself or for others. I wish I had been a little more assertive back in the day… That would’ve helped me avoid being mistreated and “run over” at times… but thankfully I have definitely grown in that area… professionally and personally. I remember Henry used to tell me all the time… “People will treat you based on how you allow them to”. Sometimes you have to let people know, “Hey, that’s not okay!” Setting boundaries is a very good thing and I’ve definitely gotten better with that!  I surely don’t have a problem “professionally” putting people in their places when needed. Now don’t get me wrong… I’m not downright rude… but I will let someone know that “I’m not the one” when I need to. 

Everything will all work out

This is something that I need to remind myself of every once in awhile even now. This is a reminder that we all need from time to time. There were times where I would worry so much about things, only to find that my worrying was in vain. I had to and still do have to remind myself that my life is not my own and that it is in God’s hands. That struggle, hurt, pain and trials I experience will be used for HIS glory and that in the end ALL things will work together for my good. Just like it says in Romans 8:28 – “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 NKJV

God has a plan and a purpose for my life, and when I trust Him, stand on His word and seek His face, no matter what trials I go through someway, somehow it will all work out for my good and HE will get the glory! I have faith and confidence in His word!

Well friends, there you have it! Those are the 8 things I would tell my younger self today. I would even venture to say that these are great reminders even for my “older” self today! LOL

What are some things you would tell your younger self today if you could? I would love to hear them! Please share in the comments below!

As always, thanks for stopping by!!!

Gr8fully Yours!!